What I’ve Learned About Blogging Since Moving to NYC

I’ve actually had this post written for a while, but it took a few weeks for me to actually get the courage to click ‘post’. It’s a scary thing putting your thoughts and opinions out on the web. That being said I have a few things I want to get off my chest. I started my blog and YouTube channel in college without any real direction or goal. I was bored and I just needed a creative outlet. When I moved to New York City a little over a year ago I was really excited about meeting other bloggers and taking my little hobby to the next level. It’s been an amazing experience so far; surprising and also eye-opening. Here are few things I’ve learned about bloggers and blogging since my big move.

1. A lot of bloggers are actually really shy! I don’t know why, but I just assumed that all bloggers were outgoing. I mean, I’m not immune to socially awkward moments and I get nervous going to events. But for the most part I consider myself comfortable in most social settings and pretty outgoing. I think a lot of that has to do with why I started my YouTube channel – clearly I like to talk 😛 But guys – a lot of bloggers are actually really shy and quiet. Not that that’s a bad thing at all. It just really surprised me! I’ve gone to my fair share of events and blogger parties since moving to NYC and many times I’ve been taken aback by how reserved, and even uncomfortable some bloggers are in a social setting. It just shows that you really can’t judge a person by their online personality. I think as a reader you just assume that if a person puts their whole lives out there on the Internet, they must be the same in real life too – definitely not true!

2. Blogging is competitive. I feel like this is kind of a DUH statement, but guys I’m so naive. When I made the goal in my 2013 New Year’s Resolutions that I was going to meet more bloggers I kinda just thought ‘oh I’m going to meet bloggers and they’re going to be my friends and I’m going to finally have a social life in NYC.’ Wronggg. Well, not completely wrong. I have made a few blogger friends that I do consider real-life friends, but for the most part a lot of the girls I’ve met I’d just consider friendly acquaintances. I think a lot of it has to do with that fact that blogging is sooo competitive (and the fact that NYC is an IMPOSSIBLE city to make friends in). I never realized it before but now that I work for a fashion PR agency I understand – the blogosphere is so over-saturated. Everyone is competing for the same partnerships, sponsorships, event gigs – it’s kinda crazy actually. I think because of the competition it makes it hard to form genuine friendships. Which is sad, because I genuinely really did/do push myself into the blogging social scene hoping to make friends :/ #foreveralone #atleastigotmyboy

I think the competition also contributes to a lot of insecurity. People don’t want to help one another for fear of contributing to that person’s possible success. Maybe I’m just cynical but I’ve definitely had a few moments where I felt like another blogger purposely didn’t tag me in an Instagram photo or link me on her blog for (what I believe) fear of giving me more followers. I just don’t get the intense competition within the blogging world. Of course competition is healthy and a normal part of life, but to me, blogging is my hobby. I don’t care about it enough to take it to a point where I’d feel the need to be an a**hole to someone else with the same love and passion as me.

3. Bloggers are smart, BOSS ladies. One of the things I’ve enjoyed most about meeting other bloggers is just the inspiration I’ve gotten from being around such intelligent, entrepreneurial women. While I don’t blog full time, I’ve met many who do and I’m thoroughly impressed by how business and tech savvy so many bloggers are. It’s crazy! On the exterior blogging can look pretty frivolous but behind-the-scenes of every successful blogger there is a strategy and a business plan. I really think it’s an amazing feat what some of these women do – they manage mini empires, often all on their own! I do view my blog as a business and I’m lucky enough to make a part time income from Katie’s Bliss – but damn, my little empire is nothing compared to what some of these ladies are doing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to a brunch or dinner with a group of bloggers and walked away with my mind blown. I feel very fortunate to have a hobby and a career that allows me to meet such inspiring, creative women. It keeps me on my toes and pushes me to reach my own goals.

4. Bloggers have big egos. Not ALL bloggers, but definitely a good few. Now I’m writing this from my perspective of my day job (PR girl) and as a blogger. During my very first fashion week I was working a show for a very well-known designer. I had worked on the seating chart and every single seat was assigned – even standing room. I knew it by heart. At check-in I witnessed my first horrifying blogger with an ego experience. A blogger started screaming and yelling at one of our interns about how it was a mistake she wasn’t on the guest list (it wasn’t a mistake). She cut the check in line and made a huge embarrassing scene in the middle of Lincoln Center. It was disgusting. Ultimately she was told she wouldn’t be given entry and to please leave. Later after the show as I’m checking my Instagram feed I see that this blogger not only snuck into the show but she also had the nerve to steal a seat right behind Grace Coddington and the entire Teen Vogue and Vogue teams…and Instagram it…and flaunt the gift bag that she stole… I was SOOOO angry. I was mad not only because my agency worked so hard on that show but also as a blogger – her actions are why bloggers get a bad rep and the reason why articles like this get written.

Now for one of my experiences as a blogger. At a fashion week event a somewhat well known blogger THANKED ME for being one of her ‘loyal fans’ when I casually introduced myself to her and told her I liked her blog. Funny thing is we were both invited to the event as blogger ambassadors… I felt so degraded. It was definitely a moment that made me feel like crap.

Well… that was weird. I usually don’t get personal but sometimes you just gotta let it out. Let me know ya’lls thoughts – would love to hear your stories/opinions etc.


32 Comments | in Blogging

32 Responses to What I’ve Learned About Blogging Since Moving to NYC

  1. Hello Katie. This was such a great and interesting read. And wow, seriously, I can’t imagine someone acting out during a show like that. Truly disgraceful. So far, my experience has been amazingly wonderful with blogging and other bloggers. We have such a lovely & friendly group here in my city… and even when I’ve traveled for the big events! I definitley feel lucky for that. Happiest Friday, lovey!!

    xo
    By The Shore, a life + style blog

  2. Emily says:

    I love when other bloggers put themselves out there! I know you and I talked a lot about this when we met in NY and I’m right there with you… sometimes blogging is an awesome thing and sometimes I think “seriously….this is how girls are.” it’s sometimes like being in high school all over again.

    At the end of the day I think we all need to realize that you can have friendship while still doing our own stuff and without worrying about the competition!

    xoxoxo

  3. thank you for this post! I love following style blogs but sometimes I almost want to unfollow some that used to be my favs because their attitude has changed, they’ve become entitled and its not about community and a creative outlet anymore. It’s great to see that someone on the inside can see that as well and that you can still be yourself in the midst of it all.
    Heather

  4. It’s interesting to see your take on it, but even as a writer who just started to blog this year, I try not to find stuff like this discouraging. Even though I do read plenty of blogs, I like to think that they are the personality they put out, but since they are “bloggers” who stay in and write, who can blame them for being a bit introverted. Blogging is definitely looked at as a hobby or “part time job,” and finding friends in the blogging world is just luck (like finding friends at work).
    With your own amazing blog, I hope that you don’t get too discouraged either! Blogging is definitely some secret world that not everyone understands, and I’m glad we can all be a part of it.

    Your Friend, Jess

  5. darcisays says:

    Love this post! I’m not a fashion blogger, but stuff like this is why I’m hesitant to make my blog into a business, even part-time. I don’t want to have to get competitive or deal with high-and-mighty people for fear of making it less fun. But you’re totally right — people that blog full-time are amazingly talented and entrepreneurial!

  6. Wow! Well done Katie! I am so happy you posted this. It’s very honest & brave of you. I myself blog as a hobby. A hobby that has led to some incredible opportunities and has allowed me to make some fabulous new friends that I know will be in my life for years to come. I actually feel as if I work 2 full time jobs.. It’s exhausting, but if you find something you enjoy and are passionate about, it’s important to pursue it! You just need to learn not to let the negative side of blogging affect you. I will say, I have encountered many similar situations you talked about. At times it can be disheartening, but you have to realize the reason you started your blog in the first place. It is so important to not lose sight of that. I am all for female empowerment and feel it’s super important to support your fellow blogger and always lend a helping hand when necessary. We are all in the same boat. Even those girls that may feel they are superior to others had help at one time or another. It’s unfortunate that they often forget… Kuddos to you, Katie!

    xo, Lindsey
    http://www.caviartaste.com

  7. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this incredibly honest post! The fashion blogging universe can be a wonderful place, but it’s also competitive and egotistical. It’s incredibly difficult to be a real person in that world, and not get discouraged. Just so you know, you’re not the only one feeling this way, and for what it’s worth, you are doing a fantastic job sharing your style in a real, relatable way!

    xo
    Sam

  8. I couldn’t agree with you more! I started blogging two years ago and even though I had been living in the city for six years at that point, I still went into the blogging community with the idea of making new friends. But wow, it’s hard stuff! The competitiveness is insane and sometimes it’s very disheartening to be surrounded by all of that. But I also agree with Lindsey. There’s lots of positive things about blogging and I have been able to make some true and real friends through my blog. I just have to focus on the positive and not let certain attitudes get to me. It’s very unfortunate that there’s a negative side at all but I guess it just comes with the territory.
    xo
    http://www.fashiontruffles.com

  9. You took the words right out of my mouth! I stared my blog for a creative outlet and just to have someplace to document what I loved and what things I was obsessing over at the time. I have met many other bloggers since moving here two years ago and for the most part all have been really nice. I have had a few encounters where I have left events wondering why I got into blogging or why I am going to these events when girls are just downright mean and vicious. But I always go back to why I started blogging and that it was for no one but me. I am all for helping a girl out. I don’t see blogging as a competition, but rather a great way to meet other fabulous ladies. NYC is a tough place to meet new friends, so why make it even tougher by being mean to other girls who are just living out their passion the same way you are? Thank you so much for sharing this, Katie! I think many of us have felt this way more often that we want to admit.
    xo Sarah
    savedbyfashion.net

  10. Kudos to you for sharing your thoughts. I think it is SO important to authenticity to “keep it real” and here you have done so. I’ve done posts like this too. I have actually not had the pleasure of meeting other bloggers (Colorado is a very lonely fashion blogging place), but I am excited to do so. I cannot believe that blogger snuck into that show!!! Diva much? What a weirdo!

  11. Lindsey says:

    As a new blogger, I love that there are established people to look up to and befriend. As a human being, it’s frustrating to me that entitlement is such an issue, in more areas than just online. I began blogging because of my own interests, to join a community and to make friends. It makes me happy that there are bloggers like you that are open, honest and approachable, because we all have to remember we started as me at one time- new and looking to branch out, seek advice, and make friends. I’ve even reached out to you before for a piece of advice, and I truly appreciate your response! People should keep in mind that it’s not a popularity contest, and that relationships require giving as well. Thanks so much for writing this post. I enjoy being a “loyal fan” 😉

    xx,
    Lindsey
    marketmetrendy.blogspot.com

  12. joliene wade says:

    Thank you for posting this; I really like it. I blog, too, and am shy, although I seem to be pretty comfortable putting my feelings on the internet… perhaps for shy folks like me, it’s an outlet. I blog simply for fun, though, and don’t pursue advertising or anything, nor do I put in the effort that I know many ladies do. I think this is really interesting and I agree that that fashion week blogger is an embarrassment to bloggers and to, well, humanity. What kind of parents did she have? Haha. I REALLY want to know who this is, now.

    Thanks for sharing; this is a great post.

    Joliene
    Young SF Lady

  13. ThePearShape says:

    Thank you so much for writing this article and saying what we all want to say, but don’t have the guts to! Rest assured, it’s the same in San Francisco

  14. Lindsay says:

    Katie I couldnt agree more with this. I have found very similar experiences. You nailed it 🙂 If Im ever in NYC we need to meet up! NO egos here 😉

  15. Jessica Fay says:

    Katie, I have never been to a blogging event! I blog as a creative outlet because I am a stay at home mom with a 16 month old and my husband is deployed most of the year! I can not tell you how much I respect you for this post! Very well written and I really like hearing about a whole other world and side of blogging! Do not get me wrong I would love and die to go to many of these events one day but I am so thankful I have more incite on it, thank you!

    Xo

  16. Sara says:

    Hello dear Katie!
    Loved this post!

    There are people able to do pretty much everything! It’s a crazy world.

    I definitely can relate with your comment about shy personalities, but I think that is just a part of me, and I blog to express myself, and also to push myself eheh

    Unfortunately I don’t live in NY but I would love to spend a year or so there, I would love to have the opportunity to be a “full time blogger in NY”. A dream, right?

    I don’t think you are naive Katie, and I truly believe ‘a world’ where bloggers/youtubers can really be friends, and help each other it’s possible.

    I believe in that, and we act like that, I think we can make a difference!

    Thank you for sharing your opinions.

    Best of luck for you,

    Kiss from Portugal.

    Sara

  17. Great post, Katie! I’d agree RE: your thoughts on the competition within the industry. On the one hand, it’s certainly a great motivating factor; but on the other, I’ll never understand why people shy away from helping others find success.

    You know what they say, you’re always going to pass people on the way up AND down that ladder…

    Hope you have a great weekend, girl. xx

  18. Bhreagh says:

    Great post! I’m going into PR next year in Toronto, Canada and am so excited. This was such an interesting take on bloggers and so nice to hear it from a blogger and PR perspective!

    http://www.bhreaghwho.com

    Cheers,
    Bhreagh

  19. Lauren says:

    I loved this post Katie. When I lived in NY we had a lot of blogger brunches or dinners and I’d be so excited and then we’d get there and the ENTIRE meal was spent people instagramming or tweeting and I’d go home and see 6 tags like “so fun hanging out with @everyday_runway” and it was like welp, we barely spoke, but ok :/ I totally understand how you feel and hope you’re able to find the genuine ones out there because they definitely exist 🙂 xoxo

  20. Lauren says:

    I really enjoyed reading this post, it’s interesting to hear your thoughts and has kind of opened my eyes to some of the things in the “world of blogging” that I never really thought about before. I guess whatever you do, there are always going to be some not so nice people. For me, while I love reading blogs for the fashion, it’s also interesting getting a tiny little peek into other peoples lives, and I find that a lot of the blogs I follow are written by girls I can relate to/feel that I would get on with.
    Anyway, very well written post 🙂

    I also just wanted to say thanks for the inspiration! I found your blog at the start of the year, and it’s what pushed me over the edge and made me decided to finally start my own! I’m so glad I did, it’s become a really fun hobby, so thank you! (for some reason I feel like I may have written this before, so sorry if I’m repeating myself, I just wanted to say thanks!)

    Lauren xx

    laurenloveslaughter.blogspot.com.au

  21. Naghmeh says:

    Wow Katie, well done. I love this post. While my blog is still very little and I haven’t really experienced the scene fully I’ve watched from a distance and felt the competition even from my level. It can crazy sometimes but different people react differently to competition and that has a whole lot to do with personality and some people unfortunately cannot be competitive with grace. But thank you so much for writing out your thoughts which many of us share are but too chicken to write 😉
    keep up the good job 🙂
    xo

  22. Thank you so much for this post! It’s nice to hear someone’s honest experiences. I can totally relate to all those “shy” blogger you mentioned. It’s kind of a perfect outlet for an introvert like myself. I started blogging as a creative outlet and to hopefully meet people with similar interests, and my blog is still a baby. As someone brand new to this awesome but somewhat intimidating community, it’s nice to hear the positives, yet also know what you’re getting into! I enjoyed reading this post!

    xo, Summer
    http://www.belleandgrace.blogspot.com

  23. Katie says:

    Thank you for sharing this! It’s nice to hear your perspective. I just started a blog in Philadelphia. Its interesting to hear about the blogging scene in NYC. Glad you’ve made a few good friends and great work networking!

    Love your style!
    Katie
    seewhatkatiewears.blogspot.com

  24. Joe says:

    Competitive and Big Egos. That describes just about every industry in NY!!!

  25. Jessica says:

    Wow, I can’t believe that the blogger actually sneaked into the event and then flaunted it after she made such a huge, nasty scene. I loved reading this post. I’m from an incredibly small town (actually about 20 miles outside of the small town) so I love reading about other bloggers experiences.

    Tracy @ Sunny Days and Starry Nights

  26. If it makes you feel any better every industry has jerks in it. But, If you stay true you can always be proud. And that will shine through. I love your blog. Best wishes from Silicon Valley.

  27. dhampson says:

    This just sounds like our current culture here in America.

  28. Kacie Ellis says:

    Thanks for this article! I hope to go to a blogger event in the future and it’s nice to have this heads up about what bloggers can be like. I’m really shy in large settings, especially around woman, so I guess I’m like the typical blogger 🙂 You seem like a really nice person and if I even go to an event, I hope to meet you.

    http://kacieskloset.blogspot.com/

  29. Esclipse says:

    Awesome article.Really looking forward to read more. Great.

  30. eogli says:

    Thank you ever so for you article post.Really thank you! Fantastic.

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